How Can I Have So Much Time On My Hands and Still Be Running Out of Time?

Today I am exactly 26 weeks pregnant! This means that I only have about 14 more weeks left of pregnancy, give or take a couple weeks depending on when the little guy wants to show up. As each week passes I get just a little more nervous. Not just about going into labor but also about whether I'm prepared. I keep thinking that there aught to be some kind of universal baby list that tells you exactly what your going to need to have on hand for when your little bundle of joy arrives. Like a precise amount of how many little bodysuits, bottles, diapers and wipes etc. that I will need. I've found websites that give you estimates. I don't like estimations. I am the kind of person that needs to know exactly how many of whatever it is I will need. And how do you even know what you need? I've never had a baby before. What if I am totally missing some really important thing that most mothers couldn't live without but I'm just too dumb to realize that I need it? I also think I've started the whole "nesting" phase. I bought the cute zoo parade bedding, the white crib with attached changing table, the cute musical mobile, the closet organizers to hold all the little outfits and I've got more infant and 0-3 month outfits than I actually think I will need. Basically I have all the cute superficial things down. As for the things that might be even more important, lets see... I managed to buy one bottle. One? Yes just one. You see while I was standing in front of the bottle section of our local Walmart, I couldn't help but feeling a bit overwhelmed. Did you know that there are like a million different kinds of baby bottles? And not only are there tons of different kinds of bottles but tons of different nipple styles too! And what the heck is BPA anyway? Why does my bottle need to be free of it? So I chose one bottle. The cute little green one with a funny shaped nipple that supposedly supports breastfeeding. I have already decided to at least give breastfeeding a shot. Does that mean I still need to buy bottles? Just in case? I have absolutely no clue. I did however buy a breast pump. It sounds gross but I've been told by more than one person that I'm going to need it. I also decided to buy a monitor and diaper genie for obvious reasons. I still cant help feeling like I'm missing so much. How am I supposed to know the necessary things to buy from the unnecessary? I need help! I also feel like I might be running out of time. In the scheme of things fourteen weeks isn't really very much time. I mean it seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. What if I'm not ready in time? I wonder if all new mothers to be go through this same thing. I really hope so. That way I don't have to feel like such a loser.

So last week I went to the doctor for a checkup and she informed me that everything looked just great. She also said that if I haven't started feeling the Braxton Hicks contractions that I should be feeling them soon and that if I feel more than four in an hour to call her right away. But I wonder how I am supposed to know when I'm feeling them. I don't think I've felt them yet. At least I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary. I wonder if some women just might not get them at all. Who knows. Maybe I should have just asked my doctor but to tell you the truth I just never think about any of this stuff when I'm actually at the doctor's office. Also I have to go back in the next few weeks to take the glucose test. I'm a little bit nervous about that one because I've heard it can be very unpleasant. I also don't like anything where they have to take a blood sample. Plus you have to sit there for about an hour and anyone who has ever been to the doctor knows how boring that can be. But so far I've done a lot of things I wouldn't normally have wanted to do for the sake of the baby. Its funny how when your only responsible for your own life you tend to let things slide. Then all of a sudden your responsible for another life, one that fully depends on you and suddenly your able to put all your fears aside and step up. Its pretty amazing. I remember when I was younger and I would see a mother picking her kids nose or something and thinking how totally disgusting that was and how there was no way I would ever do that for my kids. But I guess if you carry them and give birth to them and care for them more than you care for yourself, cleaning out their noses isn't really that big of a deal in the scheme of things. Its just something you do for them because they don't know how to do it themselves. And because you love them. I guess pregnancy has made me rethink all of my old philosophies. Interesting.