Nightmares

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my twenty seventh week of pregnancy. That means that I will be entering the third and final trimester. Pretty scary huh? Apparently my subconscious thinks so also. I thought that I was keeping my nerves in check when it comes to thinking about giving birth but I must have just been repressing all those feelings because somehow they decided to come out in my dreams. I've heard of pregnant women having some pretty crazy pregnancy dreams but up until now I haven't really experienced it for myself. If you know me at all you know that I usually get pretty strange dreams when I'm not pregnant so I really didn't think it could get any stranger. But last night I had one that really freaked me out. It started out innocent enough, with me and Tim sitting in bed talking at night. Then I noticed that the little guy started moving so I turned to Tim so he could see. Then all of a sudden out of the side of my belly came this imprint of a foot! For some reason at this point in the dream I wasn't freaked out at all. I was more like "Hey look Tim how cute! A little foot sticking out!" In reality this has never happened so it would have probably been a strange sight to behold, but in the dream it was perfectly normal. So anyway, back to the dream. So this impression of a foot is sticking out of my belly so of course I touch it. Then it seemed like the baby liked me touching his foot because he tried to stick it out farther. Now if he had tried to stick it out farther in real life he wouldn't have gotten it out very far because my tummy would have been way too tight for that. But in the dream he was able to practically stick his whole foot out of the side of my tummy without causing me any pain or discomfort in the stretching of my skin. So anyway, while this is happening, my dream self is not freaking out. No, my dream self is just in awe and thinking how darn cute it is that this foot is sticking straight out of my tummy. Wait, it gets weirder. So then all of a sudden while I am holding this baby foot in my hand I notice that there is a blister on my skin where the foot is sticking out. So I ask Tim, "Do you see this? What is it?" And Tim says "I don't know, hold it up to the lamp so I can get a better look." So I do what I am told. Then under the light I notice that this blister is starting to leak. As in it is leaking water. And I am thinking how strange that is. Then all of a sudden I notice that my whole stomach is leaking this clear fluid. At first I am just dumbfounded. Then I look down and I notice that I not only still have this little foot in my hand but I also have the baby out in my arms. So I am holding this baby, not really sure how it got there and I notice that the umbilical chord is still in tact. So apparently I am holding the baby that was just INSIDE me a few seconds earlier. And I'm thinking, Holy Crap! How did this happen? Then I notice something else. That the baby is squirming around in my hands but not making a sound. And I also notice that he has this look of anguish on his face. It takes me a few more seconds to realize that he can't breath. Then I panicked. I didn't know what to do so I scream at Tim to call the hospital. Tim on the other hand doesn't seem phased at all by what has been going on and he proceeds to call someone. I don't know who he calls exactly but I knew it wasn't the doctor or the hospital or freaking 911. So I start screaming at Tim that something is wrong with the baby and I don't know what to do. Then I look down at the poor little suffocating baby and his eyes are wide open staring at me and his face is stuck in that same horrible anguished look trying to scream but he can't. And then he stops moving and dies. Just like that. With that same look on his face, with his lifeless eyes staring at me. And I didn't do anything to help him. Because I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do. Now in real life, I'm sure that I would have been smart enough to clear out his airways but in my dream that just never occurred to me. Anyway, so I woke up from this dream in the middle of the night sweating a very cold sweat and with my heart racing. It must have woken up my little guy too because he was inside rolling around like crazy. I'm glad he was though so that I could tell he was okay. But I tell you, that was the scariest dream I have ever had. I wonder if it means that I'm scared I can't handle a baby or something. Whatever the case, it's going to take a while for me to forget. I just can't wait til my real life baby can be born safely so I don't have to worry anymore. Anyway, hopefully getting the dream out in writing will help it get out of my head.

Creating the Nest

Tim putting our baby's crib together.










What is that supposed to be?










Nice pose.










Thats a funny look on his face. Lets try it again.










Thats better.










The finished product! Pretty cute huh?

I was so excited to finally find a crib that I liked at a reasonable price. I think it looks so cute with the zoo parade bedding! I can't wait for little Gavin to use it! Putting the crib up makes it seem official that we are having a baby! I can't wait to decorate the rest of the room!

Ultimate Fighting Champion

Why am I always up so darn early in the morning? Last night I barely got any sleep because Tim insists on having the windows open at night since it is August and usually pretty warm in our house. But last night like the past few nights was actually on the chilly side. Not only that but it was also raining cats and dogs. And to top it off the train likes to go past our house at three in the morning. Oh well, I guess that means I will just have to take a nap in the middle of the day.

I've been noticing that my little guy has been kicking me a lot harder lately. I guess he is getting stronger. The other night Tim had his hand on my belly and the baby actually kicked his hand hard enough to bump it off my belly! Am I going to be giving birth to the next ultimate fighting champion? Maybe. I just hope that this new found strength doesn't keep progressing too fast while he is still living in me. I don't know if my tummy can handle that.

Last night we picked up our baby's crib from the store and treated ourselves to some fast food for a change. I think Tim was relieved he didn't have to eat my cooking for the millionth time in a row. After that Tim had fun putting the crib together. It was so cute to watch him working away and it really turned out nice. I'll put up some pictures of it later on today if I remember. Now that our living room is a living room/nursery I'm getting even more excited! All that is missing is the little baby. Well, and the other million baby things I have yet to buy. I really do feel that it's all coming along. It's still hard to believe that me and Tim are going to be parents. That our little family will have one more member soon. It is just so hard to imagine. I know I feel the kicks and jabs (how could I not) but even so it doesn't fully seem real yet. It's almost as if he is just some imaginary friend of mine that only I notice and he doesn't exist to the rest of the world. Well, except for when he is kicking at Tim's hands! But I can't wait to see how things change once he is out in the open. Once he isn't just the phantom of my tummy. Once he is his own person and we can hold him and hear him make noises. I bet it's going to be great!

How Can I Have So Much Time On My Hands and Still Be Running Out of Time?

Today I am exactly 26 weeks pregnant! This means that I only have about 14 more weeks left of pregnancy, give or take a couple weeks depending on when the little guy wants to show up. As each week passes I get just a little more nervous. Not just about going into labor but also about whether I'm prepared. I keep thinking that there aught to be some kind of universal baby list that tells you exactly what your going to need to have on hand for when your little bundle of joy arrives. Like a precise amount of how many little bodysuits, bottles, diapers and wipes etc. that I will need. I've found websites that give you estimates. I don't like estimations. I am the kind of person that needs to know exactly how many of whatever it is I will need. And how do you even know what you need? I've never had a baby before. What if I am totally missing some really important thing that most mothers couldn't live without but I'm just too dumb to realize that I need it? I also think I've started the whole "nesting" phase. I bought the cute zoo parade bedding, the white crib with attached changing table, the cute musical mobile, the closet organizers to hold all the little outfits and I've got more infant and 0-3 month outfits than I actually think I will need. Basically I have all the cute superficial things down. As for the things that might be even more important, lets see... I managed to buy one bottle. One? Yes just one. You see while I was standing in front of the bottle section of our local Walmart, I couldn't help but feeling a bit overwhelmed. Did you know that there are like a million different kinds of baby bottles? And not only are there tons of different kinds of bottles but tons of different nipple styles too! And what the heck is BPA anyway? Why does my bottle need to be free of it? So I chose one bottle. The cute little green one with a funny shaped nipple that supposedly supports breastfeeding. I have already decided to at least give breastfeeding a shot. Does that mean I still need to buy bottles? Just in case? I have absolutely no clue. I did however buy a breast pump. It sounds gross but I've been told by more than one person that I'm going to need it. I also decided to buy a monitor and diaper genie for obvious reasons. I still cant help feeling like I'm missing so much. How am I supposed to know the necessary things to buy from the unnecessary? I need help! I also feel like I might be running out of time. In the scheme of things fourteen weeks isn't really very much time. I mean it seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. What if I'm not ready in time? I wonder if all new mothers to be go through this same thing. I really hope so. That way I don't have to feel like such a loser.

So last week I went to the doctor for a checkup and she informed me that everything looked just great. She also said that if I haven't started feeling the Braxton Hicks contractions that I should be feeling them soon and that if I feel more than four in an hour to call her right away. But I wonder how I am supposed to know when I'm feeling them. I don't think I've felt them yet. At least I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary. I wonder if some women just might not get them at all. Who knows. Maybe I should have just asked my doctor but to tell you the truth I just never think about any of this stuff when I'm actually at the doctor's office. Also I have to go back in the next few weeks to take the glucose test. I'm a little bit nervous about that one because I've heard it can be very unpleasant. I also don't like anything where they have to take a blood sample. Plus you have to sit there for about an hour and anyone who has ever been to the doctor knows how boring that can be. But so far I've done a lot of things I wouldn't normally have wanted to do for the sake of the baby. Its funny how when your only responsible for your own life you tend to let things slide. Then all of a sudden your responsible for another life, one that fully depends on you and suddenly your able to put all your fears aside and step up. Its pretty amazing. I remember when I was younger and I would see a mother picking her kids nose or something and thinking how totally disgusting that was and how there was no way I would ever do that for my kids. But I guess if you carry them and give birth to them and care for them more than you care for yourself, cleaning out their noses isn't really that big of a deal in the scheme of things. Its just something you do for them because they don't know how to do it themselves. And because you love them. I guess pregnancy has made me rethink all of my old philosophies. Interesting.

Unnatural Habitat

Here is a funny video I shot of Tim swimming in Heart Lake. I like to call it "Timbo Caught in the Wild". It's funny because it kind of has the feel of a wild life documentary or something. Reminds me of those videos of bears in the water hunting for fish. It really has no relevance to anything, I just get a good laugh whenever I watch it. So pass around the popcorn and enjoy!

Dancing Queen... er.... King?

Well today started off a little bit better than yesterday did. No painful jabs to the side of my tummy, just cute little nudges and bumps. I think he decided to have mercy on me. Maybe he could sense how frustrated I was. I still ended up waking up at around five this morning though. Yes, on a Saturday. Why? Well because Tim was scheduled to work today and before he leaves, whether I am awake or not, he likes to attack my face with kisses. "Aw, Maylee that is so cute!" you say? or "Ew, that's sick Maylee" as my sister Cynthia would be more likely to say. Well, to me it is neither cute nor sick. It's just plain annoying when you finally think you might get to sleep in until noon only to find your plan has been sabotaged by your own husband. That traitor. He of all people knows both how light of a sleeper I am and how much I love to sleep! But since he is the love of my life, and also the provider of our little family, and because he just works so darn hard all the time, I'm going to let it slide. I do have to hand it to him, for a guy who works sometimes 50+ hours a week, he rarely ever complains. And here I am, the lazy girl that I am, and all I ever seem to do is complain. I honestly don't think I deserve that man. Don't tell him I said that though.

So I've been noticing that sometimes when I'm surfing the net or writing in this blog, my little guy inside tends to move around a bit more than usual. At first I thought it was the way I was positioning the laptop on my lap or something but then I started to notice a pattern. You see I like to listen to music while I'm on the computer and it seems like he moves around the most when I am listening to any sort of dance music. Why dance music? I don't know. Maybe the beat? Or to quote mine and my sisters favorite T.V. show Friends "Maybe Gloria Estefan was right, eventually the rhythm is going to get you". All I know is it started with this Chris Brown song called Forever. Thats when I noticed the little guy was really getting down with it. So I thought, alright, perhaps he just likes Chris Brown music. I was wrong. I played another Chris Brown song and got nothing. So I just let my music playlist go on and sure enough when it got to another dance song he started moving. Now the thought has crossed my mind that maybe he doesn't like dance music at all. Maybe he is moving to try and get away from the noise or something and just can't escape. But I would rather believe that he is dancing. For my own sake. It would be awful for me to believe that something of my own doing is causing my unborn child misery. So I choose to believe he is dancing.

On a much less interesting note, I would like to share that last night I happened to make the most delicious deviled eggs I had ever eaten! Alright, I know thats a stretch, but honestly they were pretty darn good. I have no idea why I so badly wanted to eat deviled eggs yesterday. I'll just chalk it up to pregnancy cravings. I love how when your pregnant you can get away with anything you want by blaming it on the pregnancy. Don't feel like cleaning the house today? It must be because pregnancy makes you exhausted. Can't see yourself making dinner tonight for your family? Must be because of those nasty food aversions pregnancy creates. Need your husband to give you a back rub? You guessed it, it must be pregnancy aches and pains. But seriously I'm not saying that those are made up ailments or anything. Sometimes pregnancy really is the pits. And I think that if you have to grow a baby in your uterus, carry it for nine months and then push the darn thing out, its OK to exaggerate once in a while. Besides you only have nine months to get away with it. After that your on baby duty and you wont be getting your own way for the next eighteen years. But anyway, I'm getting off the subject. Back to the deviled eggs. They were incredible. I even had left over yellow parts because all the little white egg buddies were already filled up. I ate it with a spoon! The best part? I feel no shame. Also for some reason I've been on a cereal kick. Usually I'm not much of a cereal eater or a breakfast eater. But lately nothing sounds better when I wake up in the morning than a big bowl of cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms. Sometimes two bowls. It probably isn't the smartest idea since its packed with sugar, but I like to think the nutritional value of the milk will make up for it. On that note, I think I'll go fix myself another bowl!

I Guess I Know Whose Baby I'm Carrying

Tim is scheduled to work overtime today and tomorrow. Those of you that know him know that he gets up at the wee hours of the morning to get to work on time. By wee hours of the morning I mean about four thirty. Those of you that know Tim know that this doesn't bother him in the least. He is very much the morning person. Those of you that know me even a little bit know that I am far from being a morning person. Then why am I up at five thirty this morning you might ask? Because I am pregnant with Tim's baby. And Tim's baby obviously takes after Tim more than me in that he too is an early bird. I woke up a little after four this morning to my baby nudging me in the side of my belly. Which side? The one that was laying on the bed. Why does it matter which side? Because! Because by kicking the side that was lying on the bed, not only could i feel the little jabs but there was no where for my poor tummy to hide. He had it cornered. If it had been the side that was not lying on the bed it would have had more give. Then I might have been able to ignore it long enough for him to lose interest and stop. Then I wouldn't be sitting here wide awake like I have been doing almost every morning since his kicks have been strong enough to feel. The little tyke isn't even born yet and he is already the boss of me. I know I know, babies aren't capable of being sadistic or spiteful because they are just babies. But sometimes I wonder... what if it is just some clever front to hide the fact that they know exactly what they are doing? Are they in there getting a good laugh out of it? I think I feel him laughing now. Or maybe it's just the hiccups. I guess the world may never know.

Peer Pressure or Sheer Boredom... You Decide.

Alright, so I finally gave in and decided to start a blog of my own. I've been noticing that everyone and their dog has a blog nowadays so I'm just gonna jump on the band wagon. It might have been smarter for me to start it back when I first found out I was pregnant as a means to document my pregnancy but I honestly just never thought of it. I've always been the old fashioned type when it comes to those things. I still keep a handwritten journal. I know you more technologically advanced people out there are gasping right now but I don't care. There is something very personal about putting pen to paper that I find appealing. On the other hand, I can't go around sharing my hand written journal with the world. It would be too hard for anyone to decipher my handwriting and also there are just some things that are too personal to be shared with the general public. So I made a compromise, stuff I want to share can go here in the blog and the rest I will keep for myself to read only in my handwritten journal until I pass away and then someone can have a good laugh. By then I will be dead and I wont care anyway.

Let me see... oh right, I am now 25 weeks pregnant. For those of you that didn't know, there are 40 weeks of pregnancy. So I am over half way there, which is both exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I really can't wait to meet the little guy that has been reaping all this havoc inside my tummy but honestly I am scared to death of what I will have to do to get him out. I'll just try not to think about it until the very last second. I'm usually good at that anyway. I am a master at procrastination.

So last night I was watching the local news and apparently there is this drive through coffee stand (I don't know where so don't ask me) that is called something along the lines of bikini baristas. I think you can guess from the name what their own little claim to fame is. I'll tell you anyway, it is an espresso stand in which the baristas wear bikinis while fixing you your chai late. Anyway, the reason this little place happened to be on the news was not because of their scantily clad employees, but because these above mentioned employees have been getting drive by flashings from their own customers. Apparently there is a man who is so pleased with their work that he wants to show them just how pleased he is. Literally. So of course these bikini wearing ladies decided to take matters into their own hands. What did they do you ask? Call the police? Well even though that would have been the obvious thing to do, instead they decided to just throw some scalding hot water on the culprit in hopes that it would teach him a lesson. But to their dismay he only laughed and taunted them by saying "oh yeah baby, gimme more" or something along those lines. Don't get me wrong, this must have been a very disturbed man to think that that kind of behavior is alright to do to anyone. Even if the person you are directing that behavior at is wearing almost as little as you are. But you have to wonder, would that kind of thing had happened if the girls had been wearing a sweater and maybe even some pants? I mean, what did they honestly think? That perverts don't drink coffee so they would be safe? Sorry, perverts come in all shapes and sizes, and drink all types of hot and cold beverages just like the rest of us. I think the best way to avoid an unwanted sexual advance of that nature would be to not wear next to nothing unless you are in the privacy of your own home or somewhere where bikinis are the norm... like the beach. So sorry bikini clad barista ladies. Maybe you should try finding a job that allows you to wear clothes. It really makes me sad how sexually explicit this world is becoming. And I have to raise a child in it. Great.